kapela

"When you learn more about yourself than your partner." 

Everyone has their internal problems, some of them struggle with trust issue, anxiety, lack of confidence or self-control, hard to socialize with others, it could be anything.

Bound a relationship means you will (pleasurely) flip your cards open. You let someone else to know and holding your deepest secrets, your flaws, your insecurities, your nightmares, your black cards.

Generally, we only give this access to a few people. The one that we trust, we love, and someone that makes us feel safe. You don’t have to worry to share anything with them, you know they won’t judge you and will all ears for you.

But it doesn’t mean they have to dealing with all your internal problems. It’s okay if you need someone to lay on, to help you go through something and grow further, but actually they don’t have to also bear your pain.

They are a human too. They are a person. Not a rehabilitation center.

If you have unfinished issues, don’t put the charge on your partner for the mess. Fix your issues first before going into a relationship. Thus, you can focus on solving problems related to relationship only. This also represent your respect toward your partner.

Within a relationship, we will learn how to train our emotional quotient intelligence by discussing problems, response to conflict, be more understanding and forgiving. It is a chance to find a good self-reflection and ability to process our feelings as well as communicating it in the best possible way.

It’s not fair for them if they have to bear internal problems within ourselves, such as excessive jealousy, suspicion, temper tantrums, trust issue, mood swings etc.

If two people come together, it should be sharing joy, not extracting joy from each other. Having an expectation of them to make you happy will destroy you someday.

When you already fulfilled and happy by yourself, you can double it by caring and sharing with your partner. In your head, you will say “Let me make you happy.” not demanding to “Make me happy!”

So heal first.

It’s not their fault if you have struggles to solving your inner issues and also not your responsibility to changing other’s behavior. A good relationship is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.

We are worthy to accept a pure love without have to begging for it.